Back-to-School Stress: How to Support Yourself and Your Family

Back-to-school season is often a mix of excitement and anxiety—for both students and parents. While a new year brings opportunities for learning, growth, and connection, it can also trigger stress, overwhelm, and worry. Understanding what drives this stress and how to manage it can make the transition smoother for everyone.

Why Back-to-School Can Be Stressful

Several factors contribute to heightened stress during this time:

• Change in routine: Shifting from relaxed summer schedules to early mornings, homework, and extracurricular activities can disrupt both sleep and daily rhythms.

• Academic pressure: Expectations around grades, performance, and achievement can weigh heavily on students.

• Social dynamics: Meeting new classmates, navigating friendships, or dealing with bullying can create anxiety.

• Parental stress: Parents often feel pressure to manage logistics, support children’s needs, and meet expectations themselves.

Even adults who aren’t in school may feel a sense of “seasonal stress” as routines shift and responsibilities pile up.

Signs of Back-to-School Stress

Stress can show up in many ways, both emotional and physical:

• Irritability or mood swings

• Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping

• Trouble concentrating or completing tasks

• Headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints

• Avoidance of school or related activities

Recognizing these signs early can help prevent stress from escalating into anxiety or burnout.

Strategies to Reduce Back-to-School Stress

1. Establish a Routine

Start preparing a few weeks in advance with consistent wake-up, meal, and bedtime schedules. A predictable routine helps children—and adults—feel more grounded.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation

Simple breathing exercises, meditation, or grounding techniques can help manage racing thoughts and calm the nervous system. Even five minutes a day can make a difference.

3. Prioritize Sleep and Nutrition

Sleep is critical for emotional regulation and cognitive function. Balanced meals and regular hydration also support resilience during stressful times.

4. Communicate Openly

Encourage children (and yourself) to share feelings and worries. Validating emotions rather than minimizing them helps reduce stress and fosters connection.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

No one is perfect—academic or otherwise. Celebrate effort, curiosity, and growth rather than only focusing on grades or achievements.

6. Seek Support if Needed

If stress feels overwhelming, persistent, or is interfering with daily life, consider talking with a therapist. Therapy provides tools to manage anxiety, strengthen coping skills, and build confidence during transitions.

Final Thoughts

Back-to-school stress is a normal response to change, but it doesn’t have to take over the season. With awareness, preparation, and self-care, families and students can navigate the transition with more calm, connection, and confidence.

At Summit Family Therapy, I work with children, teens, and parents to manage stress, build resilience, and support healthy emotional development. If you or your child are feeling overwhelmed this school year, schedule a session with one of our therapists and take the first step toward a calmer, more confident start.

Reflecting on Dr. James Dobson’s Legacy: Parenting, Child Welfare, and Controversy

Dr. James Dobson, a prominent evangelical leader and founder of Focus on the Family, passed away on August 21, 2025, at the age of 89. Throughout his life, Dobson was a significant figure in American family dynamics, offering guidance to millions of parents while also sparking debates on child-rearing practices.

As a psychotherapist and someone who was raised in a household influenced by his teachings, I wanted to sit with this news for a few days before sharing my thoughts.

A Voice in Parenting and Child Welfare

Dobson's influence began with his 1970s book Dare to Discipline, which advocated for structured parenting and the use of corporal punishment. He believed in the importance of parental authority and discipline, emphasizing the need for clear boundaries and consequences for children. His approach resonated with many parents seeking guidance during times of societal change.

Over the years, Dobson authored over 70 books and hosted a nationally syndicated radio program, Family Talk, reaching millions of listeners. His messages often centered on traditional family values, marriage, and child-rearing, providing a framework for many navigating the complexities of modern parenting.

Controversies and Criticisms

While Dobson's work garnered widespread support, it also attracted criticism. Many child development experts and psychologists have since challenged the efficacy and safety of corporal punishment, suggesting that such methods can lead to negative emotional and behavioral outcomes for children. I would also argue that Dobson's endorsement of physical discipline may have contributed to a normalization of practices now recognized as harmful and potentially abusive.

My major concern is that Dobson largely did not update or correct his guidance even after research consistently showed negative effects of corporal punishment and harsh discipline. While science evolved and child development experts emphasized evidence-based approaches, Dobson continued to promote methods that we now know are outdated or harmful. This raises difficult questions about the responsibility of influential figures to adapt messaging in light of new evidence, particularly when it affects vulnerable children. Even the most loving parents may unintentionally cause harm if given flawed expert advice, especially when it is connected to their faith.

Furthermore, I know of many individuals who have shared personal accounts of experiencing emotional distress and trauma linked to the parenting techniques Dobson promoted. These testimonies highlight the complex and sometimes painful impact of his teachings on certain families.

The Hidden Wounds of Purity Culture and 'Breaking a Child's Will'

At Summit Family Therapy, we often support adults untangling from deeply ingrained messages—particularly those shaped by purity culture or the ideal of authoritarian obedience. These cultural legacies frequently intersect in ways that harm identity, autonomy, and emotional safety.

Purity Culture’s Impact on Self and Body

Purity culture—common in conservative religious settings—emphasizes sexual abstinence, modesty, and rigid gender expectations. Girls are sometimes taught that their value lies in their "purity," and anyone who steps outside those defined boundaries may feel immediately less worthy or spiritually inadequate. This initiates cycles of shame, guilt, and mistrust in one's own body and feelings.

For those raised in purity culture, shame may become woven into identity—deepening inner conflict, distorting sexual understanding, and making intimate relationships difficult or even frightening.

“Breaking a Child’s Will” in Religious Parenting

Another common thread is the idea—often rooted in certain evangelical teachings—that children must be molded into submissive adults through rigid, sometimes painful discipline. Popular guides like Dare to Discipline and The Strong-Willed Child encouraged physical correction as a means to "correct" behavior, under the belief it would align children with both family and spiritual values.

Decades of research now show that such practices—while perhaps effective in the short term—often lead to long-lasting trauma, issues with self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, and relational patterns marked by fear rather than trust.

Healing the Disconnect

When purity culture and authoritarian discipline converge, many adults grow up feeling disconnected from their emotions, bodies, and fairly often—as though they were never truly permitted to develop their own moral code. This can look like difficulty setting boundaries, resisting people-pleasing, feeling unseen, or even fearing autonomy.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I believe healing begins with a reclamation of self—through connection, compassion, and therapeutic exploration. It looks like rediscovering your body as safe, your voice as valid, and your boundaries as essential. It means learning to hear and honor what your emotions and physical self are communicating so you can move toward agency, healing, and deeper resilience.

Adults Deconstructing Faith and Reprocessing Childhood Experiences

In recent years, many adults have begun to deconstruct their faith and critically reflect on the religious and cultural messages they received as children. For some, this journey has revealed painful connections between strict, authoritarian parenting models and experiences of emotional or physical harm. Dobson’s teachings, particularly around discipline and obedience, are often cited by individuals as shaping environments where fear, shame, or corporal punishment were normalized.

These adults may struggle with feelings of betrayal, confusion, or anger, recognizing that the very structures meant to instill morality and love sometimes caused harm. Therapy and supportive communities can play a crucial role in processing these experiences, reclaiming autonomy, and separating spiritual beliefs from harmful practices, ultimately helping individuals heal from intergenerational and faith-based trauma.

My Own Experiences

I can still remember sitting in seminars at my faith-based college where the message was clear: virginal purity was the most valuable thing a person—especially a woman—could offer. Those who “fell short” of this expectation were described as tainted, dirty, a wilted flower, or used up. Yet, in reality, less than 5% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex.

When I think back on those teachings now, my heart breaks for every survivor of sexual abuse or assault who was in that room. Hearing spiritual leaders declare that they were dirty or ruined only reinforced the shame and self-blame they already carried. I want to scream and weep for every woman who has come into my office carrying this burden of shame.

A Lasting Impact

James Dobson’s impact on parenting and family life cannot be overstated. He offered guidance, community, and a sense of direction to many parents seeking support. At the same time, it’s clear that some of his methods contributed to emotional harm, leaving lasting effects on children who grew up under strict or fear-based discipline.

As a therapist, I see the importance of reflecting on this legacy honestly. Understanding the past allows us to embrace compassionate, evidence-based approaches to parenting and healing, while honoring the experiences of those who were hurt.

If you are navigating feelings related to childhood experiences, faith, or family trauma, therapy can be a safe place to explore and heal. I invite you to schedule a session with me, Dr. Courtney Stivers, to begin untangling these experiences and reclaiming your sense of safety and self-worth.

Yoga and Mental Health: How Mindful Movement Supports Emotional Well-Being

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for stress, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm to take hold. Many people are seeking ways to support their mental health beyond talk therapy, medication, or traditional self-care. One powerful approach that has gained recognition in both clinical and wellness communities is yoga.

Yoga is more than stretching or physical exercise—it is a practice that integrates the mind, body, and breath, helping individuals cultivate awareness, balance, and resilience. Research has shown that yoga can positively impact mental health by reducing stress, improving mood, and supporting emotional regulation.

How Yoga Supports Mental Health

1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety

Yoga encourages mindful breathing and relaxation, activating the parasympathetic nervous system—the body’s natural “rest and digest” response. This helps lower cortisol levels, calm the mind, and reduce the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety.

2. Improves Emotional Regulation

Through consistent practice, yoga helps individuals notice and respond to their emotions with awareness rather than react impulsively. This can be particularly beneficial for managing anger, frustration, or anxiety.

3. Enhances Mind-Body Connection

Trauma and chronic stress can disconnect us from our bodies, leaving us feeling tense, numb, or unsafe. Yoga emphasizes grounding, body awareness, and gentle movement, helping reconnect the mind and body in a safe, supportive way.

4. Boosts Mood and Resilience

Physical movement, breathwork, and mindfulness practices in yoga stimulate the release of endorphins and serotonin, improving overall mood. Regular practice also builds resilience, helping people cope with challenges more effectively.

5. Supports Trauma Healing

Certain forms of yoga, especially trauma-informed yoga, provide a safe environment for people to explore sensations, release tension, and regain a sense of control in their bodies. When combined with therapy, yoga can complement emotional healing in profound ways.

6. All Bodies Are Welcome

Yoga is for everyone—regardless of age, size, ability, or experience. Our approach emphasizes adaptation and accessibility, ensuring that each person can participate safely and comfortably. The practice is about connecting with your body, not achieving a specific pose or appearance. All bodies deserve to move, breathe, and experience the healing benefits of yoga.

Tips for Incorporating Yoga into Mental Health Care

• Start small: Even 10–15 minutes a day can make a difference.

• Focus on breath: Mindful breathing is often more impactful than the poses themselves.

• Seek trauma-informed classes: Look for instructors trained to support people with trauma histories.

• Combine with therapy: Yoga can complement counseling by enhancing self-awareness, stress reduction, and emotional regulation.

• Be gentle and patient: Yoga is a journey, not a performance. Progress is measured in awareness, not flexibility.

Final Thoughts

Yoga is not a cure-all, but it is a powerful tool to support mental health. By integrating movement, mindfulness, and breath, individuals can cultivate a stronger mind-body connection, reduce stress, and foster resilience.

At Summit Family Therapy, I encourage clients to explore approaches like yoga alongside therapy to support holistic well-being. If you are ready to combine mind-body practices with evidence-based therapy for mental health, I invite you to schedule a session with me, Dr. Courtney Stivers, and begin your journey toward balance, healing, and emotional wellness.

For women seeking a supportive, healing environment, consider joining an upcoming Women’s Trauma Recovery Workshop. It’s a safe space to connect, process trauma, and explore tools—like yoga and mindfulness—that can empower your mental and emotional well-being.

ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: You’re Not “Too Sensitive”

At Summit Family Therapy, we know that living with ADHD isn’t just about managing focus or organization—it’s about navigating the emotional ups and downs that come with it. One of the most tender and often misunderstood struggles is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone, and there is a path toward understanding and healing.

If you live with ADHD, chances are you’ve been told at some point that you’re “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” or “taking things too personally.” What people don’t always realize is that for many with ADHD, rejection doesn’t just sting—it can feel crushing. This experience has a name: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).

What RSD Feels Like

RSD can make a small comment feel like a deep wound. A piece of feedback that’s meant to be constructive might leave you questioning your worth. An unanswered text can feel like abandonment. Even imagining that someone might be disappointed in you can spark shame, sadness, or anger.

It’s not drama. It’s not weakness. It’s a real and painful part of how the ADHD brain processes relationships and emotions.

Why It Hurts So Much

Growing up with ADHD often means hearing messages like, “Try harder,” “Why can’t you focus?” or “You’re not living up to your potential.” Over time, those words stick. They create tender spots that make any hint of rejection feel amplified.

And because ADHD brains crave connection, belonging, and encouragement, rejection can feel like losing something essential—like oxygen.

The Hidden Cost

Living with RSD often means walking through the world with invisible armor. You might avoid sharing your ideas at work, not because you don’t have something valuable to say, but because you’re terrified of being shut down. You might bend over backwards to please people so you don’t risk disapproval. Or you might pull away from relationships altogether, telling yourself it’s safer not to get too close.

But that armor, while protective, can also be heavy. It keeps you from showing up fully as yourself.

You Are Not Alone

Here’s the truth: so many people with ADHD know this exact pain. You are not broken. You are not “too much.” You are a human being with a tender heart, one that feels rejection deeply because connection matters to you.

Finding Your Way Forward

RSD may always be part of your experience, but it doesn’t have to define your life. A few things that can help:

• Self-awareness. Remind yourself: “This is RSD talking. It feels real, but it’s not the whole story.”

• Compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend: with patience, warmth, and kindness.

• Support. Surround yourself with people who see your sensitivity as strength, not flaw. Therapy can also help you learn tools to manage the intensity when it hits.

• Permission to feel. Emotions aren’t wrong. They are signals of how much you care. Letting them flow—without shame—can be healing.

A Final Thought

RSD can make life feel overwhelming at times, but it’s also a reflection of your incredible capacity for love, empathy, and connection. The same sensitivity that makes rejection hurt so much is the same sensitivity that allows you to show up deeply for others.

You don’t need to harden your heart to survive. You just need to learn how to hold it gently.

If you see yourself in these words and are ready for support, our team at Summit Family Therapy is here to walk with you. Together, we can explore tools for managing RSD, strengthening self-compassion, and building the kind of connection you deserve.

Board Games? Bowling?: What are you doing to connect?

“I4, “No.”C2,” “No.” “D9”

I sighed.

“You got it. You found my PT boat.”

For those not in the know, the PT boat is the smallest vessel in the classic strategy board game of Battleship. My wife and I play battleship frequently. Long before I became a counselor, I enjoyed ritual times with my wife that John and Julie Gottmann discuss. Alongside Battleship, we have also enjoyed bowling. When we connect with each other in ritualized connection times we bid for affection. When we connect, we keep the relationship healthy. When we are having fun with our spouse or partner, we are creating happy memories of enjoyable activities we can look well upon ahead of time.

The connection ritual extends to beyond just couples though. It can mean a family. One of my favorite quotes is the following: “the greatest present is presence.” Spending time together, gathered around a board game, gathered around something other than electronic devices or social media can mean so much, even when it is not initially expressed by those gathered. You are writing good history with your family when you take these actions. Throughout my life, I have been a student of history. When I hear tales of lost opportunities for connection, I quickly see a history that needs to be changed if it is still within the present time. If it is the past, then we must double back and find ways to salvage the future. If you find yourself watching others having fun and you are not with your spouse/partner or family, it isn’t too late to change. You don’t need a New Year’s Eve to consider a resolution. Any day of the year: 365 days is an opportunity to be chosen. Eisenhower said it best in a speech, I’ll paraphrase him: we can greet the day with the handle of opportunity or the handle of anxiety. Perhaps its time to open the doors of tomorrow with the handle of opportunity?

Interested in learning more skills for connecting with your partner? Give our office a call at 309-713-1485. We can help!