Board Games? Bowling?: What are you doing to connect?

“I4, “No.”C2,” “No.” “D9”

I sighed.

“You got it. You found my PT boat.”

For those not in the know, the PT boat is the smallest vessel in the classic strategy board game of Battleship. My wife and I play battleship frequently. Long before I became a counselor, I enjoyed ritual times with my wife that John and Julie Gottmann discuss. Alongside Battleship, we have also enjoyed bowling. When we connect with each other in ritualized connection times we bid for affection. When we connect, we keep the relationship healthy. When we are having fun with our spouse or partner, we are creating happy memories of enjoyable activities we can look well upon ahead of time.

The connection ritual extends to beyond just couples though. It can mean a family. One of my favorite quotes is the following: “the greatest present is presence.” Spending time together, gathered around a board game, gathered around something other than electronic devices or social media can mean so much, even when it is not initially expressed by those gathered. You are writing good history with your family when you take these actions. Throughout my life, I have been a student of history. When I hear tales of lost opportunities for connection, I quickly see a history that needs to be changed if it is still within the present time. If it is the past, then we must double back and find ways to salvage the future. If you find yourself watching others having fun and you are not with your spouse/partner or family, it isn’t too late to change. You don’t need a New Year’s Eve to consider a resolution. Any day of the year: 365 days is an opportunity to be chosen. Eisenhower said it best in a speech, I’ll paraphrase him: we can greet the day with the handle of opportunity or the handle of anxiety. Perhaps its time to open the doors of tomorrow with the handle of opportunity?

Interested in learning more skills for connecting with your partner? Give our office a call at 309-713-1485. We can help!