Ambiguous Loss: What Is It?

Dr. Pauline Boss, PhD, from University of Minnesota, has spent most of her career studying and writing books about ambiguous loss.  Have you considered how your life be impacted by an ambiguous loss? The following article is a brief summary of her findings:

What is an Ambiguous Loss?

• Loss that remains unclear

• Ongoing and without clear ending

• Can’t be clarified, cured, or fixed

• Ambiguous loss can be physical or psychological, but there is incongruence between absence/presence

• Contextual: The pathology lies in a context or environment of ambiguity (pandemic, racism)

Two Types of Ambiguous Loss

1. Physical Absence with Psychological Presence--Leaving without saying goodbye

   • Catastrophic: disappeared, kidnapped, MIA

   • More common: leaving home, divorce, adoption, deployment, immigration

2. Psychological Absence with Physical Presence--Goodbye without leaving

• Catastrophic: Alzeimer’s disease and of  dementias, brain injury, autism, addiction

• More Common: homesickness, affairs, work, phone obsessions/gaming, preoccupation with absent loved one

What Ambiguous Loss is NOT:

• Death

• Grief disorder

• PTSD

• Complicated grief

• Ambivalence (different that ambiguous)

Examples of Ambiguous Loss Caused by Pandemic--loss of who we have been, what we have been doing, having control over lives, loss of our world view as safe place.

• Our usual agency

• Control over our usual personal, family, and work life

• Our in person relationships

• Our job; loss of money and financial security

• Our sense of safety

• The ability to control how much time we spend with family and friends

• Ability to gather physically together in large numbers for worship, sports, concerts

Are you struggling with ambiguous loss? Our team of professionals at Summit Family Therapy can help. Give our office a call at 309-713-1485 or email info@summitfamily.net. You do not have to go through this alone.